November 30, 2018


November 73rd, 1653: 

At work the interminable hoards of boxes overrun our positions with merciless abandon as they clamor for asylum looking innocent and pretending to flee persecution, but they are liars, for the labels tell a different story. Many of these boxes are not innocent at all. They are from Amazon and were sent by Jeff Bezos to steal the Saturdays of every person in the shipping industry; Saturdays which Bezos will hoard to grant himself immortality. This pitiless demigod and his brethren continue to torment us with their cardboard myrmidons, today catching me unawares by putting 67.2 in the parcel's weight field, and despite the clearly printed "lbs." on said lable having the number represent the quantity of kilograms. Our foes, it seems, are Jacobins who have buried my muse beneath a ton of cardboard, which leaves my papers still unfinished with 7 days to go. I have been through worse though.

I think.

Due to a lack of sleep, I became briefly worried about my mental state this morning, but Dunning-Kruger's thesis shows that this concern actually indicates that I'm a genius. My relief is boundless.  

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 12:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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