May 01, 2017

Dustbury has a Question

 How would that even happen? What bizarre sort of circumstances would cause this situation? 
There's some context here, but as you can see, not nearly enough.



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April 27, 2017

Missing The Most Obvious Explanation

A history buff on Reddit asked an art history question, which stumped some historians and led to further research and a number of theories, none of which confront the most reasonable and simple explanation. 



"DAMN the GM! This random encounter table SUCKS!"

Obviously Europe was invaded in the late 13th century by an force of predatory and possibly sentient giant snails that terrorized the local population and were individually a match for even an armored knight.


The Snail of Caerbannog?

As is documented below, these vile beasts would drop on people out of trees. 

"Tree-Snail! TREE-SNAI..."

The historians at the linked article have a number of alternative explanations for the art, none of which are supported by the...you know...actual art which clearly show a number of enormous, deadly...


...cat eating...

...snails terrorizing the people of France and Flanders in the 1290s. Furthermore, none of their explanations, would make nearly as awesome a movie or (gruesome late night anime) as the obvious evidence presented by the medieval artists. 

This is a production that NEEDS to be made. This little known heroic stand against an implacable enemy could be as consequential to the development of western civilization as Charles Martel at Tours. After all, if Europe had been overrun and its inhabitants eaten by giant snails in the 1290's, history would have taken a very different course.

I doubt any serious historian would disagree with that last sentence. 

So we need to find out two things. 

1: How did the people of France and Flanders vanquish these beasts?
2: What filmaker can we get to document this? This little known story has the potential to be an unbelievably awesome period piece with monsters and swordsmen and the eras' handful of early cannon that justify spectacular explosions ! It'll be The Beast the Challenged the World meets the Lion in Winter!


WHY is this not being made?

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April 26, 2017

Possibly the Very Best Story in the History of News.

I initially refrained from posting about this because it just seemed too good to be true.


It now seems to have been verified.

 Three Islamic State jihadis have reportedly been killed by rampaging wild boars near Iraqi farmland.

I remind you that Muslims consider all members of Suidae to be singularly unclean, and while eating them is considered a dreadful sin, being eaten BY them is just the Worst. Possible. Death. for a member of ISIS. 

We should all take a moment from obsessing about out petty worries and reflect upon this development.




'cause mindfulness can be rewarding.

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April 15, 2017

Come for the Beatings, Stay For the Scorpions

I really thought that this story HAD to be a joke.



"Well, snakes would be derivative."

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November 15, 2015

I Suppose One Could, in Good Faith, Quibble Over Whether

...the following embedded video is THE sign of the end times or simply one of many. However, Steven's query has, as I type this, generated 7 responses, none of which definitively answer his question.



I'm going to say yes. 

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January 01, 2015

Epic Has Its Limits

Tonight, by chance, I googled something, which is unusual as I normally use DDG or Bing. I was curious as to why the Google Doodle did not appear to be particularly new-years specific.





Thus, I moved my cursor over it.



The sentiment is appreciated, but..

That's. 
Just.
Creepy.  

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December 13, 2014

Why?

It appears that the Treasury Department is equipping its bank inspectors with survival kits.


 The survival kits must come in a fanny-pack or backpack that can fit all of the items, including a 33-piece personal first aid kit with "decongestant tablets,” a variety of bandages, and medicines.

The kits must also include a "reusable solar blanket” 52 by 84 inches long, a 2,400-calorie food bar, "50 water purification tablets,” a "dust mask,” "one-size fits all poncho with hood,” a rechargeable lantern with built-in radio, and an "Air-Aid emergency mask” for protection against airborne viruses.

They are also being delivered to what is described as "every major bank".

So...

What is this in preparation for?


One possible scenario.

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August 24, 2013

Titanic Musical Pig Fixed: Mystery Solved!

Allow me to explain...

When the RMS Titanic sank in 1912, the band played to cheer the spirits of the passengers until the ship slipped beneath the waves. However there was long reported to be a mysterious piece of music that was heard AFTER the ship sank.

It turns out it was a pig.

A toy pig with an internal music box to be precise. It was played after the ship sank to comfort children in the lifeboat and drown out the sound of the people dieing in the water around them.

Well, curators at the museum where the pig resides have fixed it. They made a recording of the tune that wafted across the waves of a frigid Atlantic night 101 years ago.


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April 17, 2013

"...And THAT Miss Crumpler, is Why I Don't Have My Homework."

Just across the river from Brickmuppetburg, a suspicious black backpack left by the side of the road resulted in the Norfolk Bomb Squad bringing out their stalwart bomb disposal  robot today. It courageously blew up the backpack, which was found to contain some charred homework and a can of soup.
Video here of non gory 'splodies.

 "That was...anticlimactic for some reason."

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March 07, 2013

Malignant Jackassery


Over at Colleen Doran's Facebook page it is mentioned that someone is making the claim that they contributed creatively to her book (A Distant Soil ) and have had credit denied them.

No.

Reading this post it is clear to me that I know the person in question. He worked in her mail room. I know this because I worked briefly in the mail room. I know this because he was briefly a business partner of mine and I spent a decade paying off the bills he left me with. I know this because he tried to frame a friend of mine for Kiddie Pr0n. (Read the whole thing.)

As far as I know the only contribution he made to the comic book was applying zipatone (badly), packing boxes, running a table at conventions and a lot of unwelcome drama. He was fired primarily for passing himself off as a creative contributor. This was a highly dishonorable and quite deliberate act. His termination was over a decade ago.

I'm not going to name the fink unless he attempts something else, but as  my friend found out to his dismay, this fellow has a nasty habit of holding grudges and acting on them in a potentially very destructive and always quite passive aggressive manner. He is exceedingly good at passing himself off as harmless and likeable. He is neither.

So let me state that if you've encountered the claim that an affable, seemingly innocent fan is an uncredited contributor to A Distant Soil it is not in any way true and the gentleman's affability is an astoundingly convincing mask concealing a dark dark soul. 


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February 03, 2013

Breitbart.com Blacklisted?

Hmmmmm.....

I got a Malware Alert when trying to visit Breitbart.

UPDATE: Via Instapundit, It was a hack. More here.
more...

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April 05, 2012

Meanwhile, In Australia


No...seriously.

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November 17, 2011

A Thing of Beauty....and Safety

...and ACTING!

 

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January 14, 2011

In Belarus

...fox shoots YOU!

"The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw,"


Actual footage of the fox, who does not look contrite.

Firefox tan by Umekichi

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December 10, 2010

Cold Crime Scene

Via The Daily Mail


Police Chief J.R. Blyth, who was called in to investigate, described the discovery at the George Washington Hotel in Pittsburgh as 'the most grisly murder scene in his 35 years in law enforcement'.

Detectives had spent eight hours of overtime on the investigation before Chief Blyth realised the blood wasn’t real and that the murder scene was in fact the leftover set of a horror movie filmed two years ago with Corey Haim



Forensics....your friend and mine.

Emma Sky is amused.
More importantly, the hotel has not cleaned this room in 2 years.

I'm thinking...."Bedbugs"
                                                                  

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January 08, 2009

Note to Self....

...Clean house
Good lord.

Via: Rambling Gamer


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January 05, 2009

A Cryptic Message From the Interwebs

I have been told to "Remember the name Matt Smith."

I have no idea.

UPDATE: Oh...


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Costumed Crimefighting on the Rise

The London Times reports that the US is crawling with superheroes.

There are, according to the recently launched World Superhero Registry, more than 200 men and a few women who are willing to dress up as comic book heroes and patrol the urban streets in search of, if not super-villains, then pickpockets and bullies.


LOL Whut?

Civic mindedness is all well and good but something is wrong with this picture...

“This is a more serious business than it looks,” said Citizen Prime, whose $4,000 (£2,700) costume disguises an Arizona businessman and father of a toddler who thinks his cape, mask and stun-gun are cool.

Prime patrols some of the most dangerous streets in Phoenix but, like most Reals, is reluctant to speak about the villains he has dispatched with a blow from his martial arts-honed forearm. He does admit helping a motorist change a flat tyre.

“Kids love the costume, so I seek to keep them out of the gangs today rather than take them on tomorrow,” said Prime who, at 41, regards himself as on the mature wing of the Real community.


What is wrong you ask? OK fine let me spell it out...

$4000.00 for a costume?

In these tough economic times one who is trying to set a good example for the youth of today must be frugal.
So...go basic...
All you need is a mask, some sort of costume...say a ninja suit with a logo, a stun gun, some twist-cuffs and maybe night vision goggles. You can get the basic kit for a hundred fifty bucks and look damned snazzy if you're friends with a cosplayer who is inclined to enable your wacky civic minded shenanigans.

Assuming you get decent body armor add 2-500 dollars and if you have decent first aid training a hunters first aid kit with trauma pads (in case you happen upon an injured person) is going to be around 60 or 70 dollars.

One should be able to put something pretty impressive for under a thousand bucks.

What, exactly, did 4 grand buy?



Citizen Prime may have overspent, or he may have gimmicks we don't know about...like a defibrillator a bat winch or a Vespa-Prime or something. Also gortex is expensive and he may have body armor more comprehensively distributed which would add up quick.  Regardless, Phoenix may be a teensy bit safer tonight...It is certainly more colorful.

For those of you concerned about whether there is a costumed crimefighter deficit in your area, there is the World Superhero Registery.

Note that despite the Times articles implication that this is a strictly American thing, there seem to be several in the UK at least.

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December 21, 2008

Purple Squirrel

No really. A purple squirrel. (via)


Image via Daily Mail.

Obviously squirrels have adopted a unitary command structure.

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December 04, 2008

Multitudinous Mammaries Mysteriously Missing

A large shipment of inflatable boobs has gone missing en route to Australia.
They must be located in 2 days or they will miss their deadline. No.Really.



Character in pic is Yotsuba Kiowai from Yotsuba&! 404 shop was shamelessly nicked from 4-chan.

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