September 14, 2014

Understanding Modern Vocabulary

As the English language leans forward into a brave new world of byzantine nomenclature, some individuals who have not been brought up to speed on the changes in terminology might come to the conclusion that certain recent statements are actually feckless dissembling rather than enlightened and inoffensive specificity. 


To address the allegations, we've tracked down one of The Brickmuppet's Crack Team of Train hopping Linguists to parse the recent statements by the State Department on current events. So, from somewhere along the Masassas Line, here is our expert on exposition.

Dude..This is a [expletive deleted] of [expletive deleted]  pollyanish [expletive deleted] newspeak. You interrupted my [expletive deleted] vacation to [expletive deleted] show me the English language being [expletive deleted] up the [expletive deleted] by a bunch of [expletives deleted] incompetents using Orwellian [expletive deleted] to distract from their [expletives deleted]. This [expletive deleted] is why I TOOK the vacation in the first place. I'm gonna [ remainder of correspondence deleted after consultation with standards and practices] 


Well...

I guess the rest of the post needs to go below the fold...
 
I wish I knew who to credit this to, but it refers to this.  More here.

This started in earnest with the Overseas Contingency Operation nonsense in 2009.  Then we had Man Caused Disaster and Workplace Violence. However, the latest "not war" terminology seems give us some idea of how future government statements should be interpreted' 

Here, we see an anthrapogenic high wind event (with associated heat advisory).

The following is a temporary, man made navigational hazard in the Houston shipping channel.  As a result of its placement by a modified narco-submarine, it is a law enforcement matter, but instead of the DEA it's under the jurisdiction of the EPA due to the area's subsequent classification as a superfund site. 

Finally we have undocumented, height challenged migrants who suffer from persecution and bigotry in their country of origin. 
 
 

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 02:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 289 words, total size 4 kb.

1 I think that "Houston" event is actually test Baker of Operation Crossroads.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at Sun Sep 14 15:42:39 2014 (+rSRq)

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