January 07, 2026

So Now is the Time That Everybody on the Internet Is Required to Become an Expert on Marine Engineering and Naval Force Structures.

Fortunately, I'm a weeb with a degree in history and a lifetime of wasted opportunities, so I'VE GOT THIS! 

It seems that President Trump has announced that the U.S. Navy is going to start building BATTLESHIPS!

Also the Navy is getting frigates....in the form of Coast Guard cutters. 

This has caused interest, excitement, outrage, and horror in various circles, the specific emotion seemingly depending on one's political preferences with apparently little input from strategic analysis or engineering considerations. 

So: In keeping with the modesty we have come to expect from the current CinC, this group of warships will be called the Trump class.

....and the first one will be called the U.S.S. Defiant.
Ignoring for a moment that we don't name battleships for people, and that the first ship built in a class is the name of the class...and that Defiant is a name that U.S. naming protocols would indicate is for a minesweeper or coast guard cutter....what exactly are the various merits and silliness of this development. 

First: the official Navy Art. 




...'kaaaay. 

Having the 5inch guns as wing mounts seems needlessly inefficient. However, it might be needed to free up space for more VLS cells. 

It will reportedly have at least one railgun. 

The inclusion of a railgun is interesting, as that program had been terminated. That it is included in a current design indicates that the railgun DOES work and its termination by the navy in 2021 was due more to the general policy of national enshitification by the Biden Administration than any technical hurdles facing the weapon. Certainly Japan, faced with an existential threat in the form of China, (and having leaders who want their country to survive and prosper) have had no problem getting one to work recently.


However, as we all know battleships are obsolete, and have been since the end of WW2. Also battleships are large armored vessels armed with large caliber naval rifles. This this is a death trap and is not even a battleship. 

OK that last paragraph is a bit wrong headed. 
Battleships in WW2 were effective escorts for the carriers with the added ability to stand up to any surface forces that got into range...they were not COST effective units in that role, but they were available and individually FAR more effective antiaircraft platforms that the cruisers and destroyers that were more affordable. 

Being able to deal with targets that came within range was their downfall, because with an absolute maximum range of 25 miles, nothing was likely to get close to a carrier that could hit targets 400 miles away (and by the mid cold war could hit targets over 1000 miles away). So battleships largely left the fleet after ww2. Both the British and Americans toyed with the idea on new dreadnoughts immediately after WW2 that would be incorporating the lessons thereof, and the US drew up designs to convert its treaty battleships into missile ships as prototypes for large surface ships of the future. This was ultimately not done, mainly due to cost, but also because during the 'pentomic' period of U.S. tactical and strategic thought, it was believed that nuclear weapons would be used in any war and it thus, it was thought that a larger number of less capable but dispersed targets would be more survivable than fewer high capability vessels. 


A postwar (1947ish) proposal to complete the incomplete U.S.S. Kentucky and Illinois as heavy AAA escorts for carriers. The 16 big guns are auto-firing 8inch guns (10-15 rds per barrel per minute) firing both fin stabilized APDS anti surface shells and a gun-launched sub-caliber radar guided missile. This was axed by both cost and the technical issues of gun-launched radar guided missile in the years before integrated circuits. 



A mid to late 1950s proposal to convert the Iowa class into missile battleships, leveraging the armor to protect the magazines and the great reserve buoyancy to allow some limited degree of protection to the radar aerials. The Talos missiles were extremely hard hitting dual purpose weapons with 60-130 miles of range depending on the year of production, the Regulus 2 missiles could hit surface targets over 1000NM away with a multi-megaton warhead, 


Both above pieces of artwork by Tzoli. 

Large ships DO have advantages though. They can be more stable radar platforms, they have redundancy, space for command staff and electronics and can potentially have deep magazines  and some protection. 

To that end since the 1960s the navy has sought out large surface warships to reinforce the large number of smaller vessels. The most well known of these efforts was the strike cruiser project from the 1970s, which came very close to cutting metal. This would have produced a nuclear powered ship with 2x8 inch or 5 inch guns, an AEGIS combat system and a metric pantload of anti aircraft missiles as well as some Tomahawks. 

Official USN art. Artist unknown.

This ran afoul of congress, which realized that the money could instead be spent on hookers and blow, and so the navy was forced to cram the AEGIS system designed for these ships into the hulls of the Spruance class destroyers. This produced a topheavy but serviceable radar picket destroyer, that was, then designated by congress as cruisers (the Ticonderoga class). While the Ticonderoga's hulls are a tad too small for their radars, their lightweight aluminum superstructures do have a lot of space for computers and command/control areas. They are still valued as command ships  and have 32 more missiles than the tougher but more cramped Arliegh Burke class. They ARE very stressed hulls and at or past the end of their service lives and the navy has been looking for something along the lines of the strike cruiser they replaced since they hit the waster. 

The 1990s saw the conceptualization of the arsenal ship, basically a cheap floating missile magazine for smaller, more electronically capable ships, and various designs of large surface warships in the mold of the strike cruiser. 

To wit...




The art is by A.D. Baker the third. 

These also went nowhere, and yet the navy still has requirement for a few large surface combatants to stiffen its defenses of its carriers (which may soon be partly drone carriers), as well as engage in separate surface action and continental missile defense. 

So: the navy HAS a need for ships very much like what Trump is proposing. The larger size of the ships (about twice the size of the aforementioned Strike cruiser, and the size of an inter-war battleship) could just be re result of the need for VERY large radar arrays and a large number of VLS cells. The designation battleship seems perfectly appropriate given the vessels size and capability. I hold out an irrational hope that we can get away from the odious policy of naming ships after politicians and go back to the policy of naming them for states and occasionally mountains. 

I would not put too much stock in the stated characteristics. A lot of this may be misinformation and some may lack data. For instance the number of VLS cells seems small for the size of the ship, especially since several smaller recent designs have more tubes, but this may hide other capabilities or refer to new, much larger cells foe the navy's big hypersonic glide weapons. 

So I'm not going to opine one wat or the other on design details, because they're vague and I'm a weeb with a history degree, so my technical analysis is not likely to be helpful. 

The other big announcement was the adoption of the Legend class Coiast Guard cutters as the new navy frigate. This has sparked some derision because these Coast Guard Cutters, while magnificent ships, ae armed like Coast Guard cutters. 

However these are not intended to be destroyers. They are analogous to the River/Asheville class corvettes of the U.S. Canada, and Brittan in WW2. Small ships that can be built in numbers and do basic escort work. They are not heavy hitters, but they are present. 


The Legend class is actually on a par with some of the worlds smaller frigates or corvettes. They come with a 57mm Bofors gun that has good AA capability and either a 21 cell point defense missile launcher or (more usually) a PHALANX CIWS gun. They can be fitted with SSMs and there is provision for a VLS nest abaft the 57mm gun. (whether this is for one or 2x8cell launchers is unclear, it appears to be one in the art, but I've heard that 2 will fit.) note that even 1 8 cell net translates to 32 ESSM anti aircraft missiles, or 8 larger missiles. 

This has been proposed before, but was rejected, and the shipyard is still marketing the design internationally. 



This is an austere design to be sure but it has been built in U.S. yards successfully, it can be built quickly and it can be built in decent numbers. That the VLS tubes will not be installed on the first few, is worrying but being fitted for but not with is not unheard of and furthermore it indicative of a desire to get hulls into the water ASAP, before the winds of power shift and procurement goes back to acquiring mainly hookers and blow.   

So the takeaway is that the Navy might be getting both a surface combatant that it has been trying to get, for decades, and it might be getting a frigate that can be built in some numbers. 

This weeb with a history degree is cautiously optimistic.

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So: Anything Happen While I was Away?

Banality....unpleasant biological banality is below the fold. As partial compensation here is a Kung-Fu Catgirl.


Zenless Zone Zero's Ju-Fufu is by KazeZz. The backstory that Ju-Fufu gives the player indicates that she is between 22 and 26 years old and so she serves as an important public service announcement to younger gentlemen regarding the importance of demanding reliable I.D. and always pressing X to doubt.
more...

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December 24, 2025

It is Over



At work, for the last month, the cardboard tsunami has been crashing upon us all. Being cardboard (and not water) it never receeded. Instead, we took every component of this hellish inundation and placed it on delivery trucks. Now, the last of those trucks has left the building, full to bursting with packages...made of cardboard, with addresses on them . The drivers of those trucks have instructions to not return to the facility until every one of those boxes is delivered, so that the children may be assured of a happy day tomorrow. This will be a very long night for those drivers, however, my part in this process is now at an end. The season of pain and sleeplessness is now over. I am now going to...lie down. 

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December 14, 2025

Look: I'm a Christian. But, I'll not be a Niemöller.

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December 11, 2025

In. Other. News.


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December 07, 2025

84 Years

U.S.S. Nevada (BB36) burns after having beached herself on Ford Island. The only ship to get underway during the Pearl Harbor attack, she made break for the ocean under the command of her critically wounded Officer of the Deck, (Ensign Joseph Taussig) but the battleship was caught in the Pearl Harbor channel by the second wave of torpedo bombers and hit multiple times. Taussig beached the vessel to keep from blocking the channel (and thereby granting the Japanese total victory) before he was drug from the bridge to receive life-saving medical attention which resulted in his leg being amputated. 


Taussig Returned to duty 3 days later. He retired from the navy in 1954. 

U.S.S. Nevada was repaired, and despite being quite old went on to a rather...active....career for the next few years.

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December 06, 2025

Program Note:

TWO NITE!

At 6pm EST/ 10pm UTC, join us for a rare Saturday stream as we delve into the new Genshin Impact archon quest A Nocturne of the Far North. Other streams this week have been somewhat abbreviated due to the seasonal work schedule, but, tonight, we are going long as we thoroughly explore this much anticipated story addition. Grab some hot chocolate, some scones and join everyone in chat over at https://www.twitch.tv/brickmuppet for the rare privilege of being able to bully me on a Saturday night and watch as I squander all my primojems trying to pull Jahoda!


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ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

More overtime than straight time! 


"Ow."

"...tired..."

I've got nothing. 

Here.....seasonal stuff.



Representation of the season of pain in Fontaine is by chikuwaf.

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November 30, 2025

Stream Schedule W/E December 6

Here's the upcoming schedule as promised. 



The stream days have been cut back and stream times have been rather dramatically changed, for which I apologize. However, my job, for the next month, has set start time so early that this is the only tenable option. Tonight we will be continuing the new ZZZ story Precipice of the Abyss! Tuesday we will discover what this tournament we've been enrolled in really means in Disgaea: Cursed Memories. Thursday, we will continue our attempt to build a base on Apocalypse Mode in the Unstable Beta of Project Zomboid. Finally we will round out the week with a later but much longer stream as we sit down and comb through the lore in the new Genshin Impact chapter Nocturne of the Far North! 

Due to my somewhat insane work schedule, stream times for he week are now 3pm EST/ 7pm UTC except for Saturday, which baring any new interference from the IRL RNG will be at 6pm EST/ 10pm UTC. 

Stop by, say "Hi!" and bully a streamer over at https://www.twitch.tv/brickmuppet

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K-Pop Demon Hunters

Watch this trailer:



There is no way this film is not bad. 

In fact it is not merely bad, it is GLORIOUSLY, AMAZINGLY, EPICALLY, WONDEROUSLY bad. 

Perhaps a better description would be "unpretentious".

This film is exactly what it says on the tin. It delivers exactly what it promises (K-Pop singers fighting demons aaaand K-Pop). To say any more would involve spoilers. 

This is one of the few films I've seen in the last few years where I actually laughed out loud at points. 

K-Pop Demon Hunters is goofy, touching at points, and bone-crushingly dumb at others and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Go watch this film. It delivers what it promises and that is a joyous thing in current year. 

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Well: THAT Sucked.

I've missed 2 days of work, I've not streamed since Wednesday. 

.....but I have an excuse! 

I was in the hospital. 

Short banality dump below fold. As compensation, here is some season appropriate art.  


The Patron Saints of Schizo, Poverty, and Narcolepsy by Nanamo Yado. Support Them on Fanbox! 





more...

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November 28, 2025

Remember

Cdr. Salamander has a very atypical, but powerful edition of his Fullbore Friday feature up.


It is short.

But it defies excerpting. 


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November 25, 2025

Not Plot Current Anymore: But NEAT!

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Having NAILED the FA, May He Soon Be familiarized With the FO Part of the Process

Cdr. Salamander has thoughts on the recent calls from certain congresscritters for the military to mutiny. While he points out the issues with Senator Kelly's participation in this fiasco in particular, he is looking at it from a legislative and procurement context primarily. 


The War Dept. is looking into the matter from the perspective of the U.C.M.J.

This has kept me up at night for about a week. I've got a degree in History. I know where this numbnuttery leads. 

There is a lot of talk right now of civil unrest. 

If it comes, it will not be anything like 1860-65.

It will be like Spain in 1936. 

If you are one of the smooth-brains who are actually enthusiastic about such an event (and there are such moral lobotomites on both the left and the right) then I suggest that you read up on the conflict.

It is high octane nightmare fuel. 

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November 11, 2025

Thank You

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November 09, 2025

SURPRISE AMAZON FIREWORKS!

In about 30 minutes, ( 2pm EST/ 6pm UTC) Brickmuppet Channel will be covering the launch of  ESCAPADE, the latest US Mars mission, which will launch from Cape Canaveral today at around 2:45pm EST./ 6:45pm UTC. Not only is this only the second launch of Jeff Bezos' New Glenn rocket, but they will try to land the booster on a ship at sea! This maximizes the potential for explosive mishaps! 


So join us in chat as we cheer for the progress of humanity and the um...Rocketry of the overlords of Twitch....as we react to whatever happens and cheer for (or at) team Twitch! (yay) ALSO POSSIBLE 'SPLODIES!  The channel is at  https://www.twitch.tv/brickmuppet 

Update: I've had streams ruined by all sorts of things. mostly P.E.B.K.A.C. on my part but I've NEVER had one tanked by cumulus clouds until today.


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November 08, 2025

So: I actually cut my Friday stream short because  I had to go to work early. On the way to work, I had a flat tire. No problem, I've changed MANY tires. Even less problem: The flat happened before I got off my street, so I could back into my driveway. Turns out, that little extra bit of driving meant the lug bolts ground into the hubcap and tire after over an hour of trying to get the tire off the jacked up car I sat down to catch my breath...which is when I realized I'd been rolling around in dog poop. The day is not off to an optimal start.

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October 26, 2025

A Disquisition on Tuckertardation

I have always had a great deal of respect for Dinesh D'Souza. He is smart, respectful, and literate. He's also one of the few old school conservatives who has not had his brain addled by TDS*. Here he sits down with the Triggernometry guys and has a wide ranging discussion on the situation we face and the often self inflicted challenges that the American right faces. 


Well worth an hour and a half of your time.

 *I'm an old school conservative and have had my trepidations about 45/47 which I went into in some detail here and here. Trump's performance in his second term have mostly, but not completely allayed those fears.

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October 25, 2025

Genshin 6.1

Genshin Impact is a free to play, online, gacha game.  This means that expectations are rather low. However the game has, over the 18 months that I've played it, actually impressed me with its storytelling.


What starts out as a bog-standard fantasy game (with, God help, me isekai elements)  develops over the first few scenarios into something quite unique.

Then it gets really strange

And awesome..  

Over the last 5 years (or 18 months if you're speed running it like me) Genshin Impact has drip-fed its players a quirky, interesting and exceedingly deep, & detailed backstory for the world in which the player finds him/her self. 

This drip feed has been quite entertaining and thoughtful, providing a very well realized world and that worlds history which one uncovers different layers of , as one wanders across the planet of Teyvat exploring each country and discovering how their histories and challenges tie into the larger story. Amazingly the characters one encounters are well written, and well realized. 

With the 2 latest updates, however. this drip feed has stopped.

It's been replaced with a firehose. 

Genshin's 6.1 update story was "all that and a bowl of grits". Exceptionally well written,  with excellent character development, surprises galore, and building on the previous story in a believable way, An Elegy for Faded Moonlight ties together or clarifies more than half a dozen plot threads, some of which had appeared to just be flavor text. It resolved the current in-game crisis in a most satisfying way, while simultaneously setting up foundations for future  mayhem. The only online game I've seen that has anything on a par with this is Final Fantasy14 with its award winning  Heavensward update from a decade ago. This really was a 9/10 out of 10, and exceeded even the high expectations I have come to have of this game. 

My only concern is that the next updates will be hard pressed to live up to this. But given the tightness of the story and how well it integrates elements from the beginning of the game, I do hold out some hope that this is not a fluke and they've really been working towards a coherent and satisfying ending.  

Fingers are crossed. But as of now, it's looking quite good. 



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October 23, 2025

FTP Streaming!

Tonight at 6:30pm EDT 10:30pm UTC, I will be broadcasting LIVE from Nasha Town while exploring Nod-Krai and the new Genshin Impact chapter An Elegy for Faded Moonlight! As of the last few updates Yo-Hoyo is no longer drip-feeding us lore,  they've just turned on the fire hose! This should be awesome, so grab a drink, a snack, every one of your BrickCoins, and join us in chat as we explore the region, uncover its secrets, and face down the implacable RNG by rolling the gacha! 


Join the fun tonight at https://www.twitch.tv/brickmuppet 

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