March 03, 2018

This is It

This is the end.

It seems that our self appointed betters in Silicon Valley have a new fad...

Now at first glance, there's nothing wrong with that, until one reads five words into the standfirst...

Their pampered birds wear diapers



So first off, these...individuals... presumably have to get special chicken diapers. Cloth diapers seem geometrically unlikely and safety pins are a dubious prospect with Chickens. And face it, Pampers do not take widdles into account. This is horrible.

if you want to have a pet bird not live in a coop, there are probably better ways than to have the poor thing soak its hind feathers in its own poop.

Get a duck.

They're smart, they can be house trained, they...
Can chickens be house trained like ducks?
I've never pondered this before.
It would seem not, 'cause these acknowledged geniuses in Silicon Valley are putting BIRDS, in DIAPERS.


Let's do a bit of research...


Now in fairness, this involved involved nearly 1.5 seconds of using something called "the internet", which may not be an option that naturally occurs to a Silicon Valley Tech Exec...


Perhaps we should follow up...I mean it's possible that the answer to " how to housebreak a chicken" is "You can't." so lets look at...Nope.

A quick perusal of Amazon would further indicate that Chicken Diapers do exist

So yes. 
We're doomed.

Full disclosure: I don't care if these people keep chickens. I used to live in a trailer park and many of my neighbors kept rabbit hutches and chicken coops, until the local zoning board tore them down (along with my neighbor's home, which was damaged by the backhoe in the process) and fined them into oblivion after learning that they did not possess the Hipster Douche exemption to asinine zoning laws. 

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 05:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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