So I check my mail this morning...I was looking (as always) for something other than bills.

 The failure of my tuition assistance to come through meant that I still owe the college some money, and therefore can't get my grades. Now I was reasonably confident that I did OK. The only possible shadow on my GPA was a history paper that I turned in late. Now given that the paper in question requires a book of primary sources that the bookstore did not get until AFTER the due date (and the Professor knew this) I was covered....and yet still I festered.

So, I open the mailbox hoping for...oh..the Tax Return..a card....coupon book...anything

But not a letter from academic continuance.                            

 The people who kick people out if their semester GPA falls below 2.0.

When I came back to college, I was coming off probation from my stupid years. I came off probation a year ago, but was put back on it because of a screw up regarding classes I had to drop due to Coast Guard obligations....

I theory this was all resolved, but.....

A letter

From them...

In MY mailbox.

I looked at the envelope...I put it on my dash and drove to my folks to help them with yardwork....and offer assistance with my grandmother (who just had shoulder reconstruction).

I looked at the envelope....

I emptied the parents catbox...

I looked at the envelope....

I weeded the front bushes and moved limbs out of the parents yard.

No good ever came from a Academic Continuance envelope.....

The college won't let me know my grade until I pay them the last bit of money...the only reason they would let this be known is if....

...expulsion....

7 years since I started back....working half hours when I was not on active duty.
7 years wasted.
No money in the bank....just my 401K

All for naught...

37
living in a trailer...
no prospects for a degree or any job outside the service sector...

I became ill...

I raked the yard....

I sat in my truck , and I held the letter.

I wondered what I'd blown....Had one (or more) my exams been an "F"....had the History paper not been accepted....

I opened the letter.....

I looked at the children playing down the street, their lives before them..I wondered how many would screw up their lives as I had....

All my past mistakes came down on me like a ton of bricks...I became queasy.

I read the letter....

" Your semester GPA is 3.7. You will therefore be permitted to attend Old Dominion University in the Fall. Bear in mind that should your cumulative GPA fall below 2.0 you will be placed on suspension......."

WTF!??

Woohoo!...."thud"


Update: Wow! Thanks for the kind words!
In the comments it was suggested that I'm an honors student. No.
My cumulative GPA is nowhere near as high as my semester GPA, a legacy of my stupid years. Honors students have enough discipline not to have stupid years and it is a disservice to them to assume I am one.


Well, I need a good laugh preferably involving grades....so lookee here....

Via Bits n' Pieces: we get a lesson in gambling.....
Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students' final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It's as if you didn't look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!

May God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 01:31 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 720 words, total size 6 kb.

1 You rock, Ken.  Awesome.

Posted by: astro at Fri May 18 10:26:59 2007 (q4NkN)

2 I am so happy for you, Ken! That is terrific! You just stick with it! We are all SO PROUD of you!!!

Posted by: Colleen at Fri May 18 14:00:56 2007 (Cj1+K)

3 Hey I only had a 3.2 as of when I finished this semester. You are doing great.  Keep up the good work Mr. Honors student.   You'll make it!

Posted by: Marina at Fri May 18 14:06:18 2007 (YEq7+)

4 Bra-freakin-VO, Muppet!!!  Good job my friend!!!

Posted by: Wonderduck at Fri May 18 17:24:36 2007 (FgNgv)

5 So you are the guy screwing up the curve!

Congrats.

Posted by: Bill at Fri May 18 18:59:51 2007 (eXHh4)

6 Even if you aren't an honors student your tenacity is to be admired.  Just keep on keeping on and you'll get to do the walk.

Posted by: Marina at Fri May 18 21:10:21 2007 (YEq7+)

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