May 13, 2007

THE BRICKMUPPET'S TOP 10 ANIME BABES OF ALL TIME

Due to writers block.... and the pressing need to let people over here know where I stand on the all important issues of the day....here is a rather reworked repost from my old blog.

10:Roberta (From Black Lagoon)
Not even a main character but a sort of guest star, Roberta nevertheless manages to make the list.

A former commie terrorist with the FARC, Roberta was inspired as so many youths are by revolutionary rhetoric. However, after some years of carrying the banner for Che's murderous descendants, she became increasingly sickened by the vast gulf between the revolutionary rhetoric she heard and the reality she saw.

Roberta had honed her skills to a razor edge, becoming a frighteningly effective guerrilla fighter and an infamous assassin.  Over time the results on her actions and the horrific nature of her organization began to blow upon the few smoldering embers deep within the charred remnants of her conscience. Her conscience was finally set fully aflame  when she saw communisms true nature reflected the glassy eyes of a dead child staring up from a mass grave.

...as it so often is .... 

Leaving the movement was very nearly an act of suicide in that part of Columbia but she succeeded through sheer skill in not getting killed.   Marked for death by both the Government  she now grudgingly supported and the murderous thugs she had renounced, she, rather astonishingly, offered her services as penance to one of the rich landowners she had previously been trying to kill. Even more astonishingly, the old man took her in and accepted her offer to work as a bodyguard for his surviving household.When introduced, is is his sole surviving household servant.

Nominally a maid, Roberta is also the body guard for the family child.She takes this job very seriously.

In addition to training as an assassin, terrorist and guerrilla, Roberta has superb organizational skills and is an effective maid.

She is is not however, a particularly competent cook.... her employer doesn't seem to mind this.
 Appearing in only a few episodes of the series,  one might be forgiven for wondering why she's on the list...

Let us review

She's a hot, smart, competent Latin girl...
who is almost always in a maid outfit....
...while wearing glasses...

...annd she really hates commies
PLUS SHE HA..HAS THE CONTENTS OF A WHOLE YEARS WORTH OF G..G..GUNS AND AMMO ON HER PERSON!!

And she's great with kids!

'nuff said.

9:Lum (From Urusei Yatsura) An alien princess with dainty little horns, elf ears,  green hair, the ability to fly and her preferred costume is a tigerskin bikini.   She is a weirdness magnet and is funny to boot...What's not to like?

OK, the lightning bolts, and the jealousy...and the temper...but given that she found herself in an arraigned marriage  to idiot lechmonger Ataru Moriboshi , and is trying heroically to make her marriage work, those "flaws" are quite forgivable.

Besides...she's frickin' LUM....of course she'd be on the list!


8: Lafiel (From Crest Of the Stars) The whole 'Space Princess' character type is a bit of a cliche', but Lafiel is quite interesting (as is this rather under-rated series). Though somewhat ambivilant about her role as royalty, sheever does not fall into the 'poor little princess' funk and carries herself with considerable grace. She is a genuinely likable and sympathetic character.

 At the start of the series Lafiel is a freshly commissioned (space) ensign who happens to be in line for the throne of the Abh Empire..she is also quite inexperienced.

She is a good judge of character though. While she and her male co-star/significant other are not exactly pivotal players in the events of grand cosmic drama that unfold around them, they must face down and survive considerable dangers and ethical issues.  Both characters are pretty much punching above their weight throughout the entire series. Lafiel is loyal unpretentious and dutiful.

 Courageous both physically and morally, she is also extremely smart and grows into the role of command quite well ....Of course, she's also got that whole blue-haired-pointy-eared-never-gets-old-space-elf thing going too.


7:Yomiko Readman (from Read or Die and Read or Dream) One of the better superhero concepts of recent years, the scatterbrained but brilliant Yomiko brings new meaning to the word "Bond paper", for she has the unusual superpower of combat origami!

 Even when the second series jumps the shark towards the end, Yomikos' sense of ethics, loyalty and general competence are sufficiently engaging to give the increasingly outlandish show direction and meaning. Yomiko is a genuinely decent person.

And it's just plain hard to top a cute, super-powered, bibliophillic, nerd girl


6:Yuki Mori (Nova Forrester) From Space Cruiser Yamato (Starblazers) One of the few women in the crew of the Yamato (Argo) and likely the only female to survive the phyrric first voyage of that storied ship.

The unbelievably competent Nova is the ships radar operator and counts among her collateral duties, assistant science officer, pilot, and paramedic. Her quick thinking saves the ship (and thereby humanity) more than once and she ultimately is willing to sacrifice her life for the sake of humanity...though she...um...got better....

..and there was much rejoicing!

Nova also manages to pull off wearing what is one of the most unflattering spandex /color combinations of any uniform ever conceived...and still not look half bad...all while exuding an air of  professionalism that transcends that outfit.


5:Sayaka Yumi: (From Mazinger Z) Tenacity personified, giant robot test pilot Sayaka Yumi sallies forth every week in the experimental robot Aphrodite Ace to battle the
fearsome robotic automatons of Doctor Hell.

Unfortunately she is a chick in a '70's robot show and  her mighty steed  is actually an experimental agricultural robot, with limited strength and durability, hastily fitted with an armament of exactly 2 missiles, which provide the dubious contraption with an impressive bosom...until they are fired..
(I'm not making this up ...Go Nagai did).

Sayaka and her well endowed robot are almost always thrashed , badly, while running interference for the super combat robot Mazinger Z.

Yet despite the odds stacked so high against her, Sayaka never gives up. Indeed, more than once she actually saves the day. (At one point in fact, she manages to singlehandedly take out the largest villain robot in the whole Mazinger/ Grandizer continuity!)
Sayaka keeps going and facing impossible odds through sheer force of indomitable will. She is also fiercely loyal to her beau, and she's got a way cooler form fitting yellow outfit than some people. (art by Ryu)


4:Lady Eboshi (From Princess Mononoke)

An astounding character, Lady Eboshi has carved out a place for herself in a world that considers her very existence an affront.


Eboshi is a noblewoman who achieves independence for her little fiefdom in feudal Japan. Despised by all who have power, she offers sanctuary to the outcasts of society, prostitutes, lepers and debtors.

Between the corrupt and covetous baronies on one side and the ferocious forest beasts on the other, she makes her stand to protect her people. For a time she perseveres through tactical and diplomatic brilliance as well as technical innovation and scientific know-how personified in her expertise with firearms.

Not perfect by any means, she still an awesome and  admirable character
.
 Additionally, in the American version she is voiced by Minnie Driver....who has one of the sexiest voices in the whole world!




3:Meia Gisbourne (from VanDread) VanDread is a show that displays all of the natural warning signs of suckage...(It's advertized  as a harem AND mech show, it's based on a video game, it involves a war between
men & women, and is riddled with technobabble and magical McGuffins of "technology")...yet it is a surprisingly nice, heavilly character oriented bit of fantasy.

Likewise, Anime (and sci-fi in general) is full of hard-ass warrior 'beeotches' with attitude.

Most are boring (or loathsome) 2 dimensional parodies of viking  berserker's.
Meia Gisbourne is not one of those.
The senior flight leader for the fighter wing of a group of female pirates (ALL female...there is a battle of the...NO literally a BATTLE of the sexes  going on at the beginning of the series).
 Meia is a paragon of competence, and professionalism. She does everything in her power to save the members of her squadron that survived the pilot, putting aside her bigotries to lead by example.

When she is asked to integrate a male pilot into her outfit she does so under protest but is quick to recognize his potential and works to safeguard him as she would any other member of her crew. The fact that the male hero (her subordinate) and her never become romantically involved is a refreshing change of pace in and of itself. There is considerable professional respect between them though. She also helps develop a fine Esprit Des Corps for her perpetually outnumbered squadron.


The portrayal of her command and leadership skills is surprisingly realistic and said skills are genuinely impressive. Meia is astoundingly well realized for a fictional officer ( for example, she makes mistakes and learns from them) and is one of fairly few "ace pilots" in science fiction to be both believable and likable. This is all the more remarkable given the alternatively terrifying and screwball situations she finds her suddenly mismatched flight team up against.

Noble, professional, and displaying a rare combination of physical and moral courage, Meia is presented as a fine example of what an junior officer should be .

This is a surprising find in any anime. It is an absolutely astounding one when it's a female in a mecha/harem comedy.


2:Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind: Warrior, aviatrix, scientist and diplomat, Nausicaa is the princess of a tiny principality in a distant post-apocalyptic  future.

Nausicaa is brave as they come and sharp as a tack. She is a beacon of reason and decency in a truly horrific age.


Although in she has scientific equipment not far advanced beyond "stone knives and bearskins" she uses rationalism, logic and science to determine the true purpose of the toxic forest and realizes that mankind's greatest threat is also potentially its salvation.

A cross between Annie Oakley, Ben Franklin and Joan of Arc, Nausicaa , through her optimism, determination and courage makes a tale that should by all rights be an utterly dystopic, post-apocalyptic nightmare, into a story of great and inspiring hope.

Oh, and she's cute, she can fly a weird ultra-lite-seagull thing
...and she doesn't get all freaked out by bugs!

1:Kyoko Otanashi (from Maison Ikkoku) Looking tantalizingly like InuYasha's Kagome might if she weren't...you know...umm...jailbait,

Er,

The lovely widow Kyoko Otanashi is the owner and manager of a small boarding house filled with the weirdest of tenants. She is deeply loyal...to a fault...remaining chaste for a very long time out of respect for her late husband.

Kyoko is optimistic, competent and deals with the peculiar types of weirdness life throws at her with considerable grace and aplomb. Happily, she does eventually manage to find someone new.

She's a cute sane, competent woman who falls for a man, who, despite being well beyond typical college age, is trying to pursue a college education despite considerable obstacles and setbacks!!!!!

WHICH MAKES HER THE HOTTEST ANIME BABE EVAH!!!!

Update:
Fixed formatting, spelling and factual errors.




Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 07:13 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 1885 words, total size 19 kb.

1 A good list, but... Neither of the Dirty Pair?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at Sun May 13 19:34:31 2007 (PiXy!)

2 I like the new digs, Brickmuppet!  Are you going to import all of your old stuff, or keep the old blogspot place as an archive?

Here's a few more babes I'd add to your list:

Major Makoto Kusanagi from the <i>GITS</i> franchise - beautiful, packing massive heat, and always in control, through all of her various incarnations.  Her, um, <i>indeterminate</i> sexuality is a bonus as well.

Lucy (note - not Nyuu) from Elfen Lied.  I love 'em beautiful and vicious.

It's early yet, but Nadie from <i>El Cazador</i> could break the top tier.  She's Noir's Mireille with better looks and a lot more personality.  She's got a lamentable tendency to disarm rather than kill, though, so she's got some hurdles to overcome.

I could come up with more, but it's your list, not mine.  I just couldn't resist throwing a few more into the mix.

Posted by: astro at Sun May 13 20:41:41 2007 (q4NkN)

3 Gah, no html for me.  I guess that's why the toolbar at the top of the comment box is there...

Posted by: astro at Sun May 13 20:43:16 2007 (q4NkN)

4

Where did you get the idea that Vandread was based on a computer game? I can't find any mention of that in the usual sources (Anime News Network, AnimeNFO, Wikipedia).

The basic idea (3 men captured by a ship full of beautiful young women) sounds like an H-game, but I don't think Vandread actually was one.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at Wed May 16 00:55:06 2007 (+rSRq)

5 I notice that you appear to be picking women based on criteria other than breasts and personality. Oh well, you've obviously got looks in there somewhere....

As for your choices, #5 makes me feel very, very deprived, to have missed that..Actually, I have seen exactly two of those series, and I'm sad to say Urusei Yatsura isn't one of them -- except for the first episode, raw, years ago.

Posted by: ubu roi at Wed May 16 19:08:36 2007 (II3cW)

6 Well, Ubu,  you are right...those are not irrelevant qualities to be sure but alone they are just hollow....OTOH, I don't think any of these angels of acetate are homely.

Regards the lack of the Dirty Pair, the fact that everyone around them tends to die horribly is a bit of a turn off.....as for competent gunbunnies, Roberta fills that niche well....and she likes kids.

While Major Kusanagi is super competent, and her questionable humanity, makes her a fascinating, indeed a poignant character, she is a bit offputting.  Her clinical coldness is like the curvy fanservice in Eiken....far beyond diminishing returns.

 I must say though, that I really like the Ghost in the Shell TV show. Its like CSI meets Phillip K Dick! The tranhumanist aspects are handled pretty darn well.

I'm not turned on by viciousness and or bloodthirstiness, which for some inexplicable reason, doesn't actually register with me as "hot"...You see, as s might be inferred from the disturbing tendency to equate drawings of fictional characters with hotness,   I'm a weird, deluded and lonely man....go figure.



The one I really kick myself for not including is June the Swallow from Gatchaman...

Perhaps another update is in order below the fold.....

Posted by: Brickmuppet at Wed May 16 20:10:27 2007 (V5zw/)

7 All of these are lovely, no doubt. But I offer a few more for your consideration, if you have not already thought about them and possible places on your list.

In no particular order:

Pirotess, from Record of Lodoss War. She's a villainess with style and grace, and all too human, even if she is actually an elf. She's intelligent, honorable, strong-willed, competent, fearless, ruthless, and flawlessly beautiful.

Faye Valentine, from Cowboy Bebop. Possibly she is too obviously the Fanservice Character for the show. But she is, in addition to being gorgeous, also an intelligently written "bad girl," with superb voice acting in both the original Japanese and the English dub.

Ritsuko Akagi, from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I know, everybody loves TEH REI, but consider this brooding mad scientist babe. Like most other characters in this series, she's an emotional cripple and barely functional, struggling with self-loathing and her fixation on a man who doesn't love her. But she's also brilliant, strong-willed, outspoken, and proud. She's fascinating and I find her endlessly deep. Also, she's breathtakingly, heartbreakingly beautiful. I love Misato Katsuragi too, but, if I may borrow a phrase from 4chan's anime discussion boards, it's Ritsu that I want to be mai waifu. ;_;

Rally Vincent, from Gunsmith Cats. She's a little crazy, but she's smart, tough, and hypercompetent. And who doesn't like cute little brown-skinned women with a pageboy hairdo?

Posted by: me at Sun Jul 27 23:38:18 2008 (iH2xr)

8 The girls from the older anime I think shouldn't be rated as very "hot" since they always have flat thick hair and kind of always look they same.

Posted by: Halish at Wed Feb 24 07:02:53 2010 (axHrn)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
53kb generated in CPU 0.0171, elapsed 0.2716 seconds.
69 queries taking 0.2604 seconds, 327 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.