July 08, 2007

Dead Birds,Overgrown Lawns, Redneck Sarin, Stupid People + Toilets


 So I decided it would be a good idea to clean out the folks gutters. Dad does not need to be on the roof (he is 66 and has a bad hip) but any attempt to do yardwork elicits an angry response and his doing said chores.

A few days ago, My opening came.... the parents had a doctors appointment for my grandmother.  I made it my business to be there when they were gone, broke out the ladder and scampered up on the roof....
I hate heights....this is odd as I love roller coasters....but ladders and "edges" scare the begeezus out of me (hanging off mountains trying to poach roses is high on my hate list too...but that is a story for another time)....anyway, by extension I hate roofs or more specifically being on them. I hate gutters...especially when they are full of a years worth of leaves compost and dead birds...hanging over a gutter 20 feet up while the breeze blows leaves, compost and dead bird parts in my face is a sublimely hateful moment....

But enough of the haterade...the parents gutters are clean, the branches are picked up and I got a shower....and reminded myself that charity begins at home....

The "charity" in question was the absolute necessity of no longer putting off the cutting my insanely overgrown yard, which had sprung trees while I was Coast Guarding...no...real woody tree-weeds...with thorns....
In a related development, the construction firm building the....I don't-know-WHAT next door had helpfully filled the yard with beer bottles, cinder blocks, sawed off stumps and limbs while I was gone. I dreaded this mess especially since a good quarter of my yard is infested with that loveliest of plants...poison ivy. After some false starts involving the discovery of some well concealed iron pruning utensils with my lawnmower blade, replacing said blade....and finally having the lawnmowers pull starter freeze...I borrowed the folks lawnmower.

Gingerly I combed the yard for any further surprises the industrial debris bunnies had left to damage said mower, and sawed down the spikey thorn trees,  I finally got the yard cut....all of it, choppity choppity  with the +5 lawnmower of mulching....this thing is awesome!
Then, as I was finishing up, I realized to my horror that I nearly ran over the discharge guard to my parents lawnmower.
OH CRAP!! I broke their mower! I picked up the rubber piece and tried for 45 minutes to figure out HOW it had fitted...it didn't seem to have any attachment point....only then did I realize that this was in fact a random mower discharge guard that matched the style of the parents  mower....the guard was NOT attached to their mower because the mulcher was attached....
feh....
Anyway, I loaded the mower into the pickup of peril, took it to my folks house got out of the coveralls that had protected me from the poison ivy washed them showered....and started to cough....

Monday, I was downright  miserable...with burning scratchiness that rather matched the rash on my hand....only then did I realize...
lawnmower+chopping into fine mulchy goodness+ poison ivy=.....

Oh wow....
I weaponized poison ivy
Yay me!
Next step ????? Then Profit!

Anyway... I'm just getting over over it.

Oh well....

So today I was at my friend Bob's comic store, in part to discuss the trip to that thar ole' Jaypan in August. He asked me to pick up lunch...which I did. When I returned with food it was raining in the store...(burst pipe?)
Sadly no...
It seems that a customer had run upstairs to the restroom with a sense of urgency....and left with an even greater one....then it started raining...

Oh crap...

Anyway....I'm getting the cheapass trip to Japan for 21 days for less cost than many plane tickets to that country....courtesy of Bob....and  I'd just said..."If theres's anything I can do...."  or words to those effect...and anyway I owe Bob big...

Crappity crap...

I'm pretty sure the asshole did it deliberately, as I cleaned up more water in the first use of the mop bucket than could FIT in the bowl indicating several attempts at flushing and judicious ignoring of the  plumbers friend right next to the toilet....ugh...not that any member of fandom could possibly be petty or evil.... (HT Ubu)

Anyway, the "rain" stopped Bob and I saved  the books with a plastic sheet, and the game rooms upstairs were drying as I left....I had had to get under the mats in the gameroom...ugh...

So I showered, stopped by ODU and came to the cyber cafe...whereupon the right front tire on the Pickup of Periltm began making unhealthy noises...It now has steel poking out of it...so therein lies my next project....but I'm gonna wait for the sun to go down just a bit before I change the tire....

I'll have an iced mocha now....



UPDATE: Tire successfully changed...on Pickup of Peril...spare is under bed...secured by chain, brace and years of rust....It took over an hour to get the tire out....otherwise procedure was straightforward. Next up: I'm going to attempt to sleep....(I'll take my twenty)

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 07:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 > I weaponized poison ivy

I once aerosolized hot pepper sauce in a careless cooking moment.  My thought process (I use the phrase loosely) went something like "Hmm, sometimes it's nice to lightly sautee herbs and spices when you start cooking.  I'll try sauteeing this Cholula hot sauce and see how that works."  For a second, I quite seriously thought I'd just killed myself, but it got better.

Posted by: Griffin at Mon Jul 9 22:04:10 2007 (Nwl7z)

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