March 27, 2020

A short tale of supply shortages, work regulations as well as black markets and their proper utilization in the age of COVID-19.

Art by AT-2
One of the managers at my place of employment went above and beyond, purchasing on his own dime a large supply of Class 3 and N-95 masks, which only just now arrived. 

However, for liability reasons and due to some asinine OSHA regulations he was informed that he could not provide them to the employees as breathing through a mask increases the stress on one's heart and offering the mask implies that the company is assuring the masks cary no risks. 

Anyone who brings their own mask must sign a waiver kept on file that they absolve the company of any heart attacks they might have while wearing them. 

I am bringing in my own masks and was signing the aforementioned respiratory waiver in the same room when this conversation went down. Afterwards, I went to the manager and offered a possible solution. 

Me: I'll buy those masks off you...for one dollar.
Manager: What?
Me: That will break the chain of custody...I just bought a bunch of masks from an undisclosed source, and I'm donating them to the employees in this building.
Manager: I don't think that's going to work, I'm pretty sure I can't sell to an employee.
(Another employee walks into the office) 
Me: Hey Sean, got a quarter?
Sean: Yeah, why? 
Me: You and I are now the respiratory safety committee.
Sean: ? Oh. Right!
Me: See here is a committee of concerned employees scrounging up money to provide face masks for their fellow employees.  Here's a buck 25. Now since anyone who chooses to take one of OUR masks has to sign a waiver and since YOU need to oversee the waivers we'll leave OUR masks in YOUR care so people can sign their waiver when they pick up the masks...from proxy...through you. 
Manager: (head explodes) 
Result: MASKS!

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 09:37 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 328 words, total size 2 kb.

1 1 gun = 1 mask, 1 bullet = 5 masks?  That's some messed-up exchange rates.

Posted by: Rick C at Fri Mar 27 10:49:28 2020 (Iwkd4)

2 Also, I laughed out loud at your story.

Posted by: Rick C at Fri Mar 27 10:52:45 2020 (Iwkd4)

3 Have you BEEN in a gun store lately?

'sides, the bullet may refer to a box.

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at Fri Mar 27 15:01:31 2020 (5iiQK)

4 Cheap printer, expensive ink.


Posted by: J Greely at Fri Mar 27 16:24:39 2020 (ZlYZd)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

What colour is a green orange?

31kb generated in CPU 0.0153, elapsed 0.1283 seconds.
71 queries taking 0.1189 seconds, 308 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.