June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson Died for Our Sins

Michael Jackson has died.
Obviously you know this already as it is the only thing on TV and it seems is the only news on the planet worth covering.
Welcome to day one year one PMJ.
Tomorrow there was to be a crucial vote on the controversial cap and trade plan which many feared would wreck our economy. Obviously all issues have been worked out as there is nothing whatsoever to report.
Likewise the national health care debate....nothing to report so obviously all issues have been resolved with Jacko's death.
The terrifying US deficit, it seems, must have been a simple clerical error caused by a combination of a Dvorak keyboard and Excel.
Fox and MSNBC are showing Michael Jackson videos....so the unpleasantness in Iran has no doubt been resolved amicably.
There is no Piracy off either coast of Africa, in the straits of Malacca or the Caribbean.
There is no slavery in the world.
The huge plastic island in the north Pacific gyre has obviously disappeared.
North Korea has agreed to all of the very strongly worded requests by the UN....which one would think might be news...but then one would obviously be wrong, wouldn't one?
No doubt their recent nuclear test was a practical joke involving several tons of Mentos, Diet Coke and some smoke detectors.
The Taliban are quiet and AlQuaeda has called off their jihad in remembrance of the King of Pop.
All is well thanks to Michael Jackson making the ultimate sacrifice on our behalf.

Or perhaps the gatekeepers of our news are morons.

Bread, circuses and all that jazz.

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 10:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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