January 19, 2018
As the Bots Become More Sophisticated
...captcha has inevitably become more of a challenge to users.
Quite possibly to no avail.
December 17, 2017
Oh What the HELL Is This?
You know what always makes everything better?
You know what's hard to screw up?
But do you know what year this is?
Yes, it's 2017. So get ready for the inevitable dissappointment that comes from this insidiously tantalizing headline.
New!? I didn't think they were even making dinosaurs anymore!
Oh wait what's this?
Hmmm...I guess they aren't making them any more.
It looks like they just grabbed some random non-dinosaur parts from the reject bin and kitbashed to their hearts content.
I may not be a paleontologist, but I KNOW what dinosaurs looked like 'cause I had a Lewis Marx playset and that thing up there was NOT INNIT!
That ain't no dinosaur!
These here are dinosaurs!
The BEST kind of dinosaurs.
Public domain dinosaurs.
Now get off my lawn!
November 30, 2017
In Addition to the End-of-Semester Crunch ...this blog's content has been handicapped of late by other factors.
As some of you know, I work in the transportation industry and recent seasonal developments in the world of shipping have had a deleterious effect upon updates.
The following embedded video is related to said developments, though out of consideration for my readers it is not a completely accurate representation of my workplace.
UPDATE: Well, that's an unfortunate (though not unrepresentative) frame for the preview.
September 19, 2017
Avast ye scalywags!
We've purloined ourselves some treasure. Unfortunately the sea-chest we made off with had nary a dabloon init', and instead was filled with various pieces of artwork...which we obviously cana' bury due to the lack of proper climate control in desert island sand.
So... while we keelhaul the scurvy dog what grabbed the wrong chest, we'll be displayin' our latest booty.
September 07, 2017
This is one of those Black Swan's Isn't It? This could have all kinds of political ramifications!
Image via the Daily Mail
For some reason, #10 Downing Street and Buckingham Palace have as yet declined to comment. (VIA)
August 21, 2017
Nephewsitting Observations and Their Implications for Astrophysics The nephew in question is aproximnately 24 inches long by 9 inches wide, with a depth when laid on his back of 3-4 inches.
There is no WAY that much poo could have been stored in him, especially when one makes allowances for the likely presence of organs and bones and stuff.
This would seem to be evidence for the presence of a wormhole.
...and a dimension of poop.
Dark matter is explained.
August 15, 2017
It Appears That There Might Be Job Openings For Disc Jockeys in Piti and Agana In the early morning of the 15th (which was yesterday in Guam) the radio stations KSTO and KTWG broadcast a civil defense missile attack alert.
I looked them up to see if Guam had two competing gonzo troll stations, but it appears that KSTO is adult contemporary and KTWG is gospel. Neither seems likely to pull a stunt like this and given their formats, a coordinated broadcast between the two seems unlikely.
My guess (as a former DJ) is that they got a new DHS duck and cover alert and (being a PSA) it was placed in the tray with the PSA carts (or whatever these kids today use instead of carts now).
The announcers coming in on the graveyard shift were probably both in a hurry and...well...
July 01, 2017
Now They Don't Even LET You Read it With the change from wildcats to mountain ranges comes a new and clever way to ensure that there is no doubt as to whether the customer has actually signed off on whatever conditions Apple might have.
Of course after clicking agree I wanted to read the thing to see if I'd signed away a kidney, a portion of my liver, or was now changing careers to be a non-compensated pivoting blade propulsor operator on some Apple Exec's eco-friendly yacht.
This is H.S. Olympias, but the principle is the same.
Alas: No trace of the agreement can be found.
June 30, 2017
I Wonder if There's a Bag Limit
Earlier today I found myself searching for an artist credit for this image.
(Probably painted by someone not named Pinterest)
After over an hour I still don't have the artists name (in every instance it is used it is credited to one of several image hosting sites).
Normal procedures at this blog are to move on to a different picture (unless it's a reaction shot or meme).
However, the initial Google search I conducted turned up this astounding and edifying result.
I'll have to be more careful.
Hit one of those, it's going to be worse than a moose.
June 06, 2017
So There Were 1/1 Scale Dakimakuras From That Show?
Wait...that would mean...
At least now we know. The answer is 22.9 feet.
April 28, 2017
ACME Content Substitute
April 26, 2017
In Oregon, Math Should be Used With the Utmost Caution ...because if you use it without government approval during a TV interview, you can be fined for Practicing Engineering Without a License.
...his research into red light cameras has earned him attention in local and national media—in 2014, he presented his evidence on an episode of "60 Minutes"—and an invitation to present at last year's annual meeting of the Institute of Transportation Engineers.It also got him a $500 fine from the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying....
'cause impersonating an engineer is serious business.
There is one little detail though, (Scarcely worth mentioning).
Saltzman has a bachelor's degree in environmental and civil engineering from Cornell University, a master's degree from MIT's School of Civil Engineering, and is a membership of the American Society of Civil Engineers.
But he doesn't have a license to use his degree in Oregon.
April 12, 2017
Today's Episode of Newspeak For Beginners Was Brought to You by the Word "Reaccommodate" and the Number "69"
J.C. Carlton has thoughts on the saga of passenger#69 and United's new seating arrangements.
March 09, 2017
Pepe' Strikes I went for a walk and was mugged by a gang of little people in who forced me to buy emotional blackmail cookies. They were all dressed in green and I'm pretty sure they were French 'cause they wore berets.
March 03, 2017
I Think... ...maybe I should...uh...clean my bedroom.
If ever there was an argument for E-books....
UPDATE: J. Greely suggests that this story may be dubiously sourced. If it turns out to be apocryphal, it would still warrant the word "ignominious", but in a slightly different context.
February 21, 2017
...and since all my cow friends are Jerseys and Longhorns I'm gonna hafta' send you on your way.
January 23, 2017
That Place Where The Turtle Died The settlement down there looks to be imprudently positioned for any number of reasons.
Art by Makkou 4
January 04, 2017
Kongo is a Lady of Impeccable Taste One of the more surprising things I discovered in my various trips to Japan was that they actually get sweet tea right. While most tea in Japan is unsweetened the Kirin company produces two products that nail the concept.
Kongo receiving tea therapy by Itou.
Despite it being called English Tea, this is actually the sweet tea of the American southeast, which is exactly NOT like the oversweetened syrupy swill that passes for sweet tea in most national chain restaurants and in the soft drink industry. The latter producing such abominations as sweetened GREEN tea. Proper, civilized tea is extremely strong so that the bitterness balances out the sweetness of the cane sugar, (which is an entirely different substance from corn syrup). The sweetness can be further countered by adding lemon juice. This is, for some reason, beyond the capability of the American food service industry outside of a dwindling number of small mom and pop restaurants in the American southeast, despite the fact that it is well within the capability of my late grandmother.
Kirin is not so incompetent. Both the straight tea and the lemon tea are done perfectly. I never saw this done in a mass marketed product before I pulled one of these out of a Japanese vending machine on a whim.
I was, therefore overjoyed to discover that Amazon now carries this very tea which....
...I should have bought in bulk when I was over there and sold to people who cannot master the concept of the mason jar.
January 01, 2017
Phoenix 2017 by PiNemore...
December 25, 2016
PEBTSAC? I just spent an inordinate amount of time..3 hours... trying to figure out what was causing my new RCA Voyager Android tablet to declare that it could not obtain an IP address. I went to several different websites and tried all of the solutions that were given.
Turns out the password in the upper right corner of my router is not the password for the wi-fi...that would be the password marked "Wi-Fi Password" way down below.
Here are some young ladies expressing their appreciation for my first world problems with the worlds smallest violin.
Art by Akutamu
Here is a girl in a Santa Suit eating a strawberry with a rabbit on her butt...
Art by Ao Iromore...
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