June 03, 2018

Applying Contemporary Standards of Critical Thinking to Understand This Blog's Recent Outage

So the blog's been down. An explanation is in order. 

However, as we are not IT professionals, and are not privy to specifics regarding coding and hardware factors, we must look for the causes of this tragedy via open source media. With that in mind, we note a recent breakthrough in physics which was reported concurrently with the site outage and, using contemporary standards of critical thinking, this discovery must correlate to the problem at hand.

A recent physics experiment produced strong evidence of sterile neutrinos. According to the linked article, sterile neutrinos are not predicted to exist by the standard model of physics. 

Other things not supported by the standard model of physics include, but are not limited to: The EM Drive, stealth in space, sorcery, practical giant robots, Bigfoot, Niberu, Pelucidar, Mothman, ghosts, telekinesis, healing energy, vampires (sparkly), alchemy, Blemmyians, Astrology, teleportation, mediumship, warp drive, gravity generators, shrink rays, and flat earth cosmology.

Using contemporary standards of critical thinking, one must take a second look at all of those things and, lo and behold, the last one proves to be directly applicable to our problem. You see our webmaster is an Australian and the flat earthers have just concluded that Australia is, and always has been an elaborate hoax perpetrated by the British to cover up the democide of all their debtors. 

And so, contemporary standards of critical thinking lead us to the inevitable conclusion that our webmaster doesn't exist. Note that when we check our work it becomes clear that the non existence of our IT team DOES explain how technical difficulties could occur!

"Or...we could use actual critical thinking and just check the dev-blog."

There's no time for that! We've got important things to find out.
...like exactly where it is that kangaroos REALLY come from.

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May 22, 2018

Oh What Fresh Hell Is This?

One of THOSE headlines...

What in the world do robots need organs for? I can't think of any non-worrisome reasons.

Let's ask one of our Crack Team of Science Bots what possible use robots might have for organs besides living tissue over a hyperalloy endoskeleton to make them more successful as Infiltrator units. 

"Are you kidding!? I'll be able to ditch these 'splody Samsung batteries, 'cause I'll have a stomach and intestines and a liver so I'll be able to charge by eating Carolina barbecue and Moon Pies and  drinking RC Cola! And I won't stop with digestion either! I'm gonna be STACKED!"

Well OK then!

(Art is by Sukabu)

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May 06, 2018

Perhaps Not as Laid Back as They Were Hoping For.

Art By: Ueyama Michirou Buy their stuff here!

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May 05, 2018

Ninjas Wanted

Indulge us, Gentle Readers, as this blog takes a slight detour from its normal format.
(Stop that. We totally have a format!)
We need about 40 people with thick skin to pretend to be ninjas for 6-10 minutes a day.

Billy Versus Snakeman is a fun little time waster that, despite being a flash game, allows a surprising amount of cooperative and team play. The premise is that you're stereotypical anime ninjas, with a whole set of ninja goals, but you are also part of a ninja village and your participation and doing village duties makes the village stronger. Once in a while there are cooperative team events like a zombie zombja attack on the village that require some player coordination in tactics, but not time online.   Its silly fun and free.


Villages can have a population of up to 50 but require a certain level of participation to keep from falling apart every night...and that's where the guys in marketing screwed up. 

You see, there was a time (long ago) when SNOWFLAKE was a word that referred to a meteorological phenomenon involving a particular manifestation of ice-1-N  under specific conditions as part of a hydrological cycle. Given the lack of any any negative connotations, and the location of one of the decision makers in the foothills of the Great Snowy Mountains, the decision was made to name the village SNOWFLAKE.

Regrettably, as the language has shifted, membership has dropped, hence the call for ninjas with tough skin who are willing to dodge the particular slings, arrows and throwing stars that "Snowflake Ninjas" must endure, secure in the knowledge that what does not cause us to die of embarrassment makes us stronger, faster and more sneaky!

If you have the GUTS to be a Snowflake (or are just feeling vaguely ironic) click on this here linky-poo and let your adventure begin!

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April 21, 2018

Mel Brooks : Prophet or Time Traveller?

Either way, he tried to warn us.

He tried to warn us and we didn't listen...


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April 12, 2018

Advertisement...Or Warning?

Some have noted a few trends in higher education that have seen abominably foetid, baleful, glutinous, ichorous, noxious, vile, unclean and warped notions that have been shambling implacably into university curricula like some repellant, slimy tentacle secreting leprous, parasitic, ghastly, bilious, zymotic, jabbering madness.

Opinions on this do differ, but Scott Lowther points out that U.C. San Diego has embraced this perception and decided to make it a selling point.

This is from the video on their home page.

I'm old, behind the times and a bit of a recluse, so I'm curious...What, exactly is the message here to millenials?

'cause I don't think that "We ENSURE a safe campus by sacrificing co-eds to Dagon." is actually what's intended.

But I may be overly optimistic. 

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April 09, 2018

Dog Whistles

Via Tamara Keel comes a headline that puts into perspective the state of our politics at the moment.


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January 19, 2018

As the Bots Become More Sophisticated

...captcha has inevitably become more of a challenge to users.

Quite possibly to no avail

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December 17, 2017

Oh What the HELL Is This?

You know what always makes everything better?
You know what's hard to screw up?
But do you know what year this is?
Yes, it's 2017. So get ready for the inevitable dissappointment that comes from this insidiously tantalizing headline.

New!? I didn't think they were even making dinosaurs anymore!

Oh wait what's this?

Hmmm...I guess they aren't making them any more.
It looks like they just grabbed some random non-dinosaur parts from the reject bin and kitbashed to their hearts content. 

I may not be a paleontologist, but I KNOW what dinosaurs looked like 'cause I had a Lewis Marx playset and that thing up there was NOT INNIT! 
That ain't no dinosaur!

These here are dinosaurs!

The BEST kind of dinosaurs.

Public domain dinosaurs.
Now get off my lawn!

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November 30, 2017

In Addition to the End-of-Semester Crunch

...this blog's content has been handicapped of late by other factors. 

As some of you know, I work in the transportation industry and recent seasonal developments in the world of shipping have had a deleterious effect upon updates.

The following embedded video is related to said developments, though out of consideration for my readers it is not a completely accurate representation of my workplace.

UPDATE: Well, that's an unfortunate (though not unrepresentative) frame for the preview. 

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September 19, 2017


Avast ye scalywags! 

We've purloined ourselves some treasure. Unfortunately the sea-chest we made off with had nary a dabloon init', and instead was filled with various pieces of artwork...which we obviously cana' bury due to the lack of proper climate control in desert island sand. 

So... while we keelhaul the scurvy dog what grabbed the wrong chest, we'll be displayin' our latest booty.


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September 07, 2017

This is one of those Black Swan's Isn't It?

This could have all kinds of political ramifications!

Image via the Daily Mail

For some reason, #10 Downing Street and Buckingham Palace have as yet declined to comment.  (VIA)

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August 21, 2017

Nephewsitting Observations and Their Implications for Astrophysics

The nephew in question is aproximnately 24 inches long by 9 inches wide, with a depth when laid on his back of 3-4 inches. 

There is no WAY that much poo could have been stored in him, especially when one makes allowances for the likely presence of organs and bones and stuff.

This would seem to be evidence for the presence of a wormhole.
...and a dimension of poop.


Dark matter is explained. 

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August 15, 2017

It Appears That There Might Be Job Openings For Disc Jockeys in Piti and Agana

In the early morning of the 15th (which was yesterday in Guam) the radio stations KSTO and KTWG broadcast a civil defense missile attack alert

I looked them up to see if Guam had two competing gonzo troll stations, but it appears that KSTO is adult contemporary and KTWG is gospel. Neither seems likely to pull a stunt like this and given their formats, a coordinated broadcast between the two seems unlikely. 

My guess (as a former DJ)  is that they got a new DHS duck and cover alert and (being a PSA) it was placed in the tray with the PSA carts (or whatever these kids today use instead of carts now). 

The announcers coming in on the graveyard shift were probably both in a hurry and...well...

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July 01, 2017

Now They Don't Even LET You Read it

With the change from wildcats to mountain ranges comes a new and clever way to ensure that there is no doubt as to whether the customer has actually signed off on whatever conditions Apple might have. 

Click ">HERE to embigify.

Of course after clicking agree I wanted to read the thing to see if I'd signed away a kidney, a portion of my liver, or was now changing careers to be a non-compensated pivoting blade propulsor operator on some Apple Exec's eco-friendly yacht.

This is H.S. Olympias, but the principle is the same. 

Alas: No trace of the agreement can be found. 

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June 30, 2017

I Wonder if There's a Bag Limit

Earlier today I found myself searching for an artist credit for this image. 

(Probably painted by someone not named Pinterest)

After over an hour I still don't have the artists name (in every instance it is used it is credited to one of several image hosting sites).

Normal procedures at this blog are to move on to a different picture (unless it's a reaction shot or meme).

However, the initial Google search I conducted turned up this astounding and edifying result.


I'll have to be more careful. 

Hit one of those, it's going to be worse than a moose. 

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June 06, 2017

So There Were 1/1 Scale Dakimakuras From That Show?

Wait...that would mean...

At least now we know. The answer is 22.9 feet.

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April 28, 2017

ACME Content Substitute

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April 26, 2017

In Oregon, Math Should be Used With the Utmost Caution

...because if you use it without government approval during a TV interview, you can be fined for Practicing Engineering Without a License.

...his research into red light cameras has earned him attention in local and national media—in 2014, he presented his evidence on an episode of "60 Minutes"—and an invitation to present at last year's annual meeting of the Institute of Transportation Engineers.

It also got him a $500 fine from the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying.... 

'cause impersonating an engineer is serious business. 
There is one little detail though, (Scarcely worth mentioning).

 Saltzman has a bachelor's degree in environmental and civil engineering from Cornell University, a master's degree from MIT's School of Civil Engineering, and is a membership of the American Society of Civil Engineers.  

But he doesn't have a license to use his degree in Oregon.

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April 12, 2017

Today's Episode of Newspeak For Beginners Was Brought to You by the Word "Reaccommodate" and the Number "69"

J.C. Carlton has thoughts on the saga of passenger#69 and United's new seating arrangements. 

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