April 28, 2017

ACME Content Substitute

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It was a Dark and Stormy Night

Due to severe weather delays, we were overstaffed at work this morning. As a result, I got off way early and about 5:30, as I was driving home, a lightning bolt struck next to me and showered my van in burning tree parts.


After a moment, I noted that the stricken tree next was next to a neighbors house and was burning with alarming intensity despite the downpour. I got out to see if it could be put out or to help the people get out as this was looking pretty grim.


 
The owner of the house and I tried to put out the fire but neither the rain nor our bucket brigade was having any effect. After an embarrassingly long interval, I had a neuron fire and realized that the tree wasn't burning, the ground was. I advised the gentleman to call the fire department NOW because it could be a peat fire and that could be the end of the whole block. 

But wait...It was quite intense for peat. The ground around it was undulating and hissing...and it kept getting more intense until it was almost like...a blowtorch. 

Oh. Lord. The lightning struck a gas main!



We kept the bucket brigade on it to keep it from igniting the tree or the house until the police arrived and decided to let it burn off the gas until the firetruck arrived, at which point I moved my van to make room for the ladder truck and carried my bedraggled ass home.

Looking at the rain, I really don't think I'm going to get the grass today.

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April 27, 2017

Missing The Most Obvious Explanation

A history buff on Reddit asked an art history question, which stumped some historians and led to further research and a number of theories, none of which confront the most reasonable and simple explanation. 



"DAMN the GM! This random encounter table SUCKS!"

Obviously Europe was invaded in the late 13th century by an force of predatory and possibly sentient giant snails that terrorized the local population and were individually a match for even an armored knight.


The Snail of Caerbannog?

As is documented below, these vile beasts would drop on people out of trees. 

"Tree-Snail! TREE-SNAI..."

The historians at the linked article have a number of alternative explanations for the art, none of which are supported by the...you know...actual art which clearly show a number of enormous, deadly...


...cat eating...

...snails terrorizing the people of France and Flanders in the 1290s. Furthermore, none of their explanations, would make nearly as awesome a movie or (gruesome late night anime) as the obvious evidence presented by the medieval artists. 

This is a production that NEEDS to be made. This little known heroic stand against an implacable enemy could be as consequential to the development of western civilization as Charles Martel at Tours. After all, if Europe had been overrun and its inhabitants eaten by giant snails in the 1290's, history would have taken a very different course.

I doubt any serious historian would disagree with that last sentence. 

So we need to find out two things. 

1: How did the people of France and Flanders vanquish these beasts?
2: What filmaker can we get to document this? This little known story has the potential to be an unbelievably awesome period piece with monsters and swordsmen and the eras' handful of early cannon that justify spectacular explosions ! It'll be The Beast the Challenged the World meets the Lion in Winter!


WHY is this not being made?

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April 26, 2017

Possibly the Very Best Story in the History of News.

I initially refrained from posting about this because it just seemed too good to be true.


It now seems to have been verified.

 Three Islamic State jihadis have reportedly been killed by rampaging wild boars near Iraqi farmland.

I remind you that Muslims consider all members of Suidae to be singularly unclean, and while eating them is considered a dreadful sin, being eaten BY them is just the Worst. Possible. Death. for a member of ISIS. 

We should all take a moment from obsessing about out petty worries and reflect upon this development.




'cause mindfulness can be rewarding.

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 08:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In Oregon, Math Should be Used With the Utmost Caution

...because if you use it without government approval during a TV interview, you can be fined for Practicing Engineering Without a License.


...his research into red light cameras has earned him attention in local and national media—in 2014, he presented his evidence on an episode of "60 Minutes"—and an invitation to present at last year's annual meeting of the Institute of Transportation Engineers.

It also got him a $500 fine from the Oregon State Board of Examiners for Engineering and Land Surveying.... 


'cause impersonating an engineer is serious business. 
There is one little detail though, (Scarcely worth mentioning).

 Saltzman has a bachelor's degree in environmental and civil engineering from Cornell University, a master's degree from MIT's School of Civil Engineering, and is a membership of the American Society of Civil Engineers.  

But he doesn't have a license to use his degree in Oregon.



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April 24, 2017

On This Day, as We Reflect Upon a Singular Evil, Let Us Not Forget Those Who Were Virtually Powerless and Still Risked Everything to Oppose It.



More here and here.

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April 23, 2017

I'll Just Leave This Here...

Their channel is here. Hat tip to Dustburry

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You Just KNOW Your Day is About to Get Derailed

When a magical girl teleports in and greets you thusly...




Thus does the story of Alice and Zoroku REALLY begin.

Meet Mr. Zoroku Kashimura, the white haired gentleman to the left, a mysterious old geezer who has a skill the local Yakuza is willing to pay handsomely for. 



Despite this, he seems to have a very good reputation in the neighborhood, to the extent that a local clerk enlists him to help out an odd little girl in an elaborate dress who has been staring at bentos for two hours. She demonstrates quite alarming, unholy, non-newtonian skills before offering to grant him any wish in return for...an undisclosed favor. Of course our bad-ass protagonist lives in Japan and is old enough to understand that anything supernatural in that part of the world is to be avoided. So he leaves.

Did I mention that she could teleport?


 At this point it should be noted that the mysterious girl has pursuers This fact becomes consequential to the story and proceeds to thoroughly mess up our protagonists day.


Not Pictured: Hijinks

You see, magical girls are trouble...and expensive to boot.



Nevertheless, Mr. Kahimura  is bad ass enough to survive multiple magical girls tearing up the city. He finally decides to take in this "Alice" and put her to work for him, while he figures out what to do with her. To that end, he takes her to his sanctum, where we finally learn what Mr. Kashimura "Talent" is.

Alice and Zoroku is really bi-polar in tone. The first few minutes are fairly grim and gritty (though largely devoid of blood ) and the story itself seems to be  a superhero thriller, but one that is mitigated by considerable wackieness. I'm not sure where this is going yet but it looks like this has the potential to be a thoroughly enjoyable and interesting show. 

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So....

You're supposed to be Princess Emillia, from Re:Zero, right?





I'm more interested in our protagonist's agent anyway.




What are we prattling on about?

Eromanga Sensei has a dumb as rocks premise, but it's extremely well done for what it is. 

Our hero, Masamune Izume, is a light novel author...in high school, who, being recently orphaned, has to support his younger sister, Sagiri.  Complicating this is the fact that, aside from the most fleeting glimpses, he's only seen her once, briefly, when she was adopted after HER parents died. You see, she's a hikikomori, presumably because there's been a lot of death in this tweener's short life. 

Masamune has been particularly fortunate to land the services of a noted cheesecake illustrator on his latest novel series. He's never actually met the dude, but the artist helped to make his latest trilogy enough of a success that our hero is making a decent living...and loosing his anonymity, This is beginning to further complicate his already hectic life. 

This being anime, things take a turn for the weird when series of conversations during and after a book signing and an obscure website set our hero on a path to discovering a shocking secret that will change his life forever!

Hijinks ensue.

This was a really solid first episode and except for one gratuitously tasteless gag  at 14:29 this is really cute show, though I'm not sure how far they can go with this. 

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April 22, 2017

Bad Engineering






From episode 11 of Tanya the Evil which has graphic violence and black humor to go with its poor role models.

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at 07:50 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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